"You Too" and Stuff...

If it's "a penny for your thoughts" but you have to "put your two cents in", someone is making a penny somewhere.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Politics for the Holidays??

"How to Tell a Democrat from a Republican During the Holiday Season"

(and you thought you could just tell Republicans from Democrats by how they vote? Not so!)

Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to pan-handlers on the street.

Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.

When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for sherry or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for egg nog.

When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.

Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Costco and Walmart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

Democrats give children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.

Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

Republicans spend hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas diplays.
Democrats save their time and money and drive around at night to enjoy the scenery.

Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Diehard."

Republicans always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts...and reposition them to make sure they're seen.

Republicans wear red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year 'round.

Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourage them from doing it again.

Democrats' favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls."
Young Democrats' favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans' favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas."
Young Republicans' favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas."

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.

Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus...
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.

(Thanks to John Carlson)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a total pile of shit. not funny. not accurate. and clearly written by some retarded dumbass republican pile of shit. fuck that. shame on you for posting it.

2:00 AM  
Blogger Beatls8 said...

Thanks for checking out my site! It was just a little joke...calm down! If the stuff that I post makes you that upset, suck it up and click on, my friend.

2:14 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home