Implausible Claims Made By Vanilla Ice in his 1990 #1 Hit "Ice Ice Baby"

"Ice is back with a brand-new invention."

"Turn off the lights and I'll glow."

"I rock a mic like a vandal."

"I'm killin' your brain like a poisionous mushroom."

"I'm cookin' MCs like a pound of bacon."

"I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a high hat."

"I grabbed my nine."

"I'm a lyrical poet."

"My style's like a chemical spill."

"If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."

"If there was a problem, yo, I'd solve it."


Thanks to Doug Erickson for today's zen...