Friday Funnies...
I came across the most brilliant collection of "lightbulb" jokes so I thought I'd share my favorites. Enjoy!
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to drink until the room spins.
Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three, but they're really only One.
Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One...and that's not funny!
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, I'll just sit here in the dark, and this pain I have --- oy vey, you should never know...
Q: How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One-two, One-two, One-two
Q: How many Yuppies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to mix the martinis and the other to call the electrician.
Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Mmm...cookies! Wanna go ride bikes?
Q: How many Bush Administration Officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That lightbulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
Q: How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heart-broken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeehaw" and throw his hat in the air.
Q: How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they just sit in the dark, rock back and forth and cry...
Q: How many fratboys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They don't screw in lighbulbs, they screw in pools of vomit.
Q: How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold my penis...I mean, my mother...I mean, the ladder.
Q: How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: A one and a two and a... (don't groan, you guys totally saw that one coming....)
Q: How many pimps does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the bulb and one to drive the pink Cadillac around in circles.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but it really has to want to change.
Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ten. One to call daddy and 9 more to make t-shirts about the event.
Q: How many Viagra users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One little tablet and it's a whole new bulb.
Q: How many moms does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, YOURS! (my personal favorite...)
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They only screw the poor.
Q: How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. If they all stand around and light up then the bulb will eventually too.
Q: One.
A: How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only two, but you have to figure out how to get them in there first.
Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a lightbulb?
A: No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it. (that one is just for you, Brian)
Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.
Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They prefer everything black anyway.
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on what you want them to change it into.
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. You can change the damn thing yourself.
Q: How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on how high the ceiling is!
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends on if it has health insurance or not.
Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who wants to know? Why?
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to drink until the room spins.
Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three, but they're really only One.
Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One...and that's not funny!
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, I'll just sit here in the dark, and this pain I have --- oy vey, you should never know...
Q: How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One-two, One-two, One-two
Q: How many Yuppies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to mix the martinis and the other to call the electrician.
Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Mmm...cookies! Wanna go ride bikes?
Q: How many Bush Administration Officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That lightbulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
Q: How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heart-broken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeehaw" and throw his hat in the air.
Q: How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they just sit in the dark, rock back and forth and cry...
Q: How many fratboys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They don't screw in lighbulbs, they screw in pools of vomit.
Q: How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold my penis...I mean, my mother...I mean, the ladder.
Q: How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: A one and a two and a... (don't groan, you guys totally saw that one coming....)
Q: How many pimps does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the bulb and one to drive the pink Cadillac around in circles.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but it really has to want to change.
Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ten. One to call daddy and 9 more to make t-shirts about the event.
Q: How many Viagra users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One little tablet and it's a whole new bulb.
Q: How many moms does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, YOURS! (my personal favorite...)
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They only screw the poor.
Q: How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. If they all stand around and light up then the bulb will eventually too.
Q: One.
A: How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only two, but you have to figure out how to get them in there first.
Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a lightbulb?
A: No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it. (that one is just for you, Brian)
Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.
Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They prefer everything black anyway.
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on what you want them to change it into.
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. You can change the damn thing yourself.
Q: How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on how high the ceiling is!
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends on if it has health insurance or not.
Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who wants to know? Why?
posted by Beatls8 | 8:53 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home