"You Too" and Stuff...

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Monday, August 15, 2005

Bathroom Coda

Soooo...I was going pee at V's house the other day. After I flushed, the unthinkable began to happen, the toilet began to overflow. I was puzzled because there really wasn't any reason for it. I'm very frugal when it comes to paper usage. Of course, V would disagree, but trust me on this one. Anyway, I rushed out of the bathroom, grabbed the nearest plunger and went at it like a pro. Of course, I stopped the water and V, like he is, had to evaluate the situation a bit further. At one point, he was actually stirring the water in the toilet, long after the situation was remedied, like it was a caulderon and he was mixing a brew.

Why am I telling you this story? Fast forward to the evening (or should I say early the next morning...), Becky and I have full bladders and are preparing to take the 30-mile trek back to the "Patch" at 2 a.m. We decided to stop at a Holiday Inn on the way out of town to "unload", if you will. While we're sitting next to each other in the stalls, I tell Becky of the above experience, which led to a further discussion about bathroom pet peeves. The more I thought about it, my list is quite lengthy. My sometimes strange bathroom habits are well-known among my friends, but I thought I'd publish a special comprehensive list for those interested parties...I know you're out there...

1. I cannot use a "one-seater" public restroom. I always feel like I have to hurry because someone is going to come beating on the door at any moment.

2. I always have to give a pre-cautionary flush before I begin. I would rather have the toilet overflow before I've used it.

3. I can only be wearing only one layer when I go to the bathoom. For example, if I'm wearing a t-shirt with a sweatshirt over it, I have to take the sweatshirt off. If it's 20 degrees in the bathroom and I'm wearing a jacket, I'll have to freeze because the coat is comin' off...

4. I can't have any necklaces, bracelet or big earrings on while I'm using the bathroom. Often when I use the bathroom at work, I'll take off my lanyard and forget to put it back on. I've found it hidden in a menagerie of places due to co-workers who are amused by my habits, from this great toilet paper cabinet we have to the actual toilet tank. Thanks guys!

5. I always have to use the first stall that's closest to the door. I read somewhere once that it's the cleanest because people always head for the stall that's farthest away.

6. I'm always scared that someone is going to try to open the door so I have to have the toes of one of my shoes sticking out of the door. This is the same thing that I do when I'm in a fitting room. I'll put on shoe half-way under the door so that outsiders will know that it's being used.

7. If there's a fan in the bathroom, I always have to use it, even if I'm just washing my hands. I feel like there's someone outside the door listening to my actions. I mainly use the fan at work because when you pee, everyone can hear it. The fan definitely helps cover up some of the noise.

8. I have a system that I always use to wash my hands. I have to soap them up for at least 30 seconds and clean under my nails. I wash my hands like I'm headed into surgery.

9. When I leave the bathroom, I can NEVER touch the door handle with my hands. I usually can manuver it open with my elbow.

10. If I'm at the sink with someone and we're washing our hands together, I always have to initiate some type of conversation. For some reason, going to the bathroom is such a strange experience to share with others.

So, am I the only crazy one here or does anyone else have public restroom issues? If so, please share....

3 Comments:

Blogger alexis said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who have weird public restroom habits. I thought I had the market cornered on OCD until the other when I was out to eat. The woman in the stall next to me turned around and flushed the toilet with her foot! Needless to say, I've been doing that ever since. LOL

9:01 AM  
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12:47 PM  
Anonymous Jamie said...

You are right about public bathrooms, I cant stand them If the door swings in then I have one foot pressed against it and if it swings out my toes pull it in. It must run in the family! AND never flush the toilet with your hands use your feet.

7:54 PM  

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