Ooh-zin' with Pop

I can't deny it anymore...I've nothin' but big love for these guys. If you've read all of the other stuff that I've written about them, you'll understand why I think The Oohs are one of the best things to happen to this town in forever...possibly even bigger than the Lincoln Complex...

Frank (the flirty one), Jim (the shy one), Brian (the married one), Brian (the single one)

This is an especially big weekend for The Oohs and I just want to wish them luck on their performance at the International Pop Overthrow (i don't think it's related to Material Issue...) in Chicago at the Wise Fool's Pub. On Sunday, they'll get to perform a full half-hour of their amazing, oh-so-catchy, original material. I got a very small taste of their new stuff last night when I saw them...they kicked as usual. I, as well as quite a few others, am waiting for the new CD to come out later this summer. Don't worry, I'll let you know so you can be the first on your block to grab it. Rumor has it that one song even has Frank on ukelele and Brian breakin' it down Dixie-land style...AND the new "Candy Apple Red 2005" with Jim on vocals. If you can't wait until the CD comes out and want to hear some of the new stuff, take a listen here (click on "MP3/Schedule"). You can check out the rotating songs that Brian posts regularly. While you're there, don't forget to sign-up for The Oohs mailing list. You'll get info. on the new releases, upcoming performances, and run-ins with pesky bar owners who've done them wrong. (tee-hee...)

Just to share with everyone..."O.K. with That", my favorite song by The Oohs and my personal highlight at every performance, is currently the #1 most played song on my itunes playlist...Yes, I love it just that much...check out a sample in the itunes music store.

If you're in the area and interested in seeing The Oohs play live, they'll be playing this Friday, May 6, at the Trading Post Saloon. Hopefully Brian won't get popped in the mouth with the mic again...

What Do I Have in Common with Dub-ya ??

I have recently discovered that I have one, and only one, thing in common with President Bush. We are both deeply in love...with our iPods. While I received mine from Winter as a birthday gift, he received his from his daughters. As for actually being able to download music, it's reported that he isn't familiar with how to do that, but rather leaves it up to his aides. What I wouldn't give to be part of that crew...Can you see Bush jogging along and realizing that Snoop Dogg is playin' on his "iPizzle"? Nice. It seems as if his playlist is quite eclectic, but no one can figure out what it has to say about the man. Check it out yourself...

Dum Dum - Brenda Lee

Do I Have to Say the Words? - Bryan Adams

Uhh Ahh - Boyz II Men

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm - Crash Test Dummies

Words Get in the Way - Miami Sound Machine

Yakety Yak - The Coasters

Thank God I'm A Country Boy - John Denver

The Fool on the Hill - The Beatles

I Can't Help Myself - The Four Tops

I'm a Fool - Dino, Desi and Billy

A Fool Never Learns - Andy Williams

Somethin' Stupid - Nancy Sinatra

Don't Know Much - Aaron Neville

If I Only Had a Brain - Ray Bolger

See the Funny Little Clown - Bobby Goldsboro

Monkey Time - Major Lance

Funny Face - Donna Fargo

Funny Way of Laughin' - Burl Ives

Chain of Fools - Aretha Franklin

You Cheated, You Lied - The Sheilds

Why Don't You Believe Me? - Joni James

Lead Me On - Maxine Nightengale

Liar - Three Dog Night

Unbelieveable - EMF

Two Faces Have I - Lou Christie

Would I Lie to You? - Charles and Eddie

Misled - Kool and the Gang

Fortunate Son - John Fogerty

Toy Soldier - Martika

I Don't Wanna Fight - Tina Turner

Run Away - Real McCoy

I Ran - Flock of Seagulls

Coward of the Country - Kenny Rogers

The Great Pretender - The Platters

One Tin Soldier - Coven

Wasted On the Way - Crosby, Stills and Nash

Catch Us If You Can - The Dave Clark Five

You Got Lucky - Tom Petty

For the Love of Money - The O'Jays

Get Money - Junior M.A.F.I.A.

Money - The Kingsmen

Money - Pink Floyd

Money Honey - Bay City Rollers

Take the Money and Run - Steve Miller Band

Taking Care of Business - Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Money for Nothing - Dire Straits

Steal Away - Robbie Dupree

Nothing from Nothing - Billy Preston

Get a Job - The Silhouettes

The World is a Ghetto - War

What a Fool Belives - The Doobie Brothers

I Don't Want to Wait - Paula Cole

One Track Mind - Bobby Lewis

Dangerous - Roxette

Insensitive - Jann Arden

I Go To Extremes - Billy Joel

Crazy - Patsy Cline

Eve of Destruction - Barry McGuire

Can't Stop This Thing We Started - Bryan Adams

Bad Time - Grand Funk

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late - Deniece Williams

Too Late to Turn Back Now - Cornelius Brothers

In Too Deep - Genesis

Take It to the Limit - The Eagles

So Sad - The Everly Brothers

Tragedy - Thomas Wayne

Don't Look Back - Boston

I Did It My Way - Frank Sinatra

Don't Blame Me - Nat King Cole

Don't Ask Me Why - Elvis Presley

I Keep Forgettin' - Michael McDonald

Our Lips Are Sealed - The Go-Go's

No One is to Blame - Howard Jones

I Can't Tell You Why - The Eagles

Leave Me Alone - Helen Reddy

I Should Care - Mel Torme

I Don't Care - Bad Company

Hard to Say I'm Sorry - Chicago

Take it Easy on Me - Little River Band

Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin

You didn't actually think that I was going to be nice, did you?

I Love Nerds...

Thanks to an anonymous poster at this site, it's now known to everyone why nerds are the best lovers of all...

1) Nerds are well-meaning 9 out of 1o times, as opposed to that sly guy with the toothy grin and wandering hands...

2) Nerds always call when they say they will. Major points there.

3) Nerds are useful. In this tech-saavy world, it's great to have a guy who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything that plugs into the wall behave itself.

4) Nerds are romantic. Although their idea of romance is designing a spiffy web page naming all of the reasons why they love you, it will last longer than flowers...plus you can show it your friends.

5) There are plenty of nerds to choose from. You like skinny boys with glasses? You like them shorter with a few extra pounds? Have your pick.

6) Nerds are smart. You can never have too much intelligence in a man. They're usually well-educated, physics majors and the like. You won't have to listen to him blather on about his car, he'll have more worldly things to discuss.

7) Nerds are good at remembering things. They'll remember your shoe size, your birthday, or your best friend's cats' name if they know it will make you happy. They've had plenty of time to memorize things, lists and such...Can you imagine the list that they've put together for things that they would like to do once they finally GOT a girlfriend??

8) That leads us to this: Nerds know sex. Imagine all that time they've spent thinking about sex, dreaming about sex, imagining sex coupled with a desire to make you happy...wow...

9) Nerds are low-maintenence. Most nerds can be fueled with Mountain Dew and Twinkies. No need to make fancy dinners here. Just have the number to the nearest Domino's handy...

10) Nerds go to bars about as frequently as slugs go to salt mines. You won't have to worry about your guy getting his groove on with the club hotties because he'll be too busy rooting around his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won't have to worry about him flirting because he'll zip past those mad honies to get to the nearest electronics store as fast as he can.

11) Nerds compromise easily. He may not want to attend every outing with you, but he's willing to arrange "swaps." You attend his Game Con dressed like an elf princess and he'll take you to the ballet.

12) Nerds don't have friends that are jerks. They will treat you with the utmost respect and even awe. A cute girl has selected one of their clan to date? Hope! It could happen to them!

13) Nerds aren't judgemental. They trust you so you can be yourself around them. They don't care what you're wearing, if you're sporting make-up or not, whether you've washed your hair, if you've gained a few pounds...it doesn't matter to them. They won't make you feel like crap.

14) Nerds will never say, "Yaw Dawg Whazzup?", unless it's in jest. They spell correctly, they use proper punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between a toilet and the floor.

The final reason why nerds make great boyfriends....

15) Nerds care about you. They like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than "Damn Baby, you've got a nice ass!" Believe me.

What the hell??

It appears that American Idol has turned dysfunctional...

1) Why is Scott Savol still on American Idol?

I've remained true to my AI boycott, but it's hard to avoid hearing Wednesday's nights results if you're awake on Thursday. I'm incredibly confused and concerned about the voters out there. Society is basically saying that physical abuse is okay and one should even be rewarded for it. Although I'm disappointed about the situation, it also motivates me to work a little harder on my part to promote education on the seriousness of the issue of domestic violence. Unbelieveable! God help us if he wins...

2) What's the deal with Paula and the contestants?

Allegations have also been released, according to Corey Clark's new book, that when he was a contestant on Season 2, he was involved romantically with Paula. WTF? Who's next? Constantine? No, wait, he was voted off the show last night, wasn't he?

3) Hey Bo, What Do Ya Blow?

It seems that AI contestant Bo Bice is the latest member to have his police run-ins unveiled. In 2001, Bice was arrested for felony cocaine possession and again in 2003 for marijuana possession. Again, Bice was apolgetic and forthcoming with the news so he was allowed to keep his spot in the top twelve. Several fans of the show are now suggesting that Paula's beloved Constantine be brought back to the show to replace Bice and his bad rep.

BIG NEWS...

But only the privileged can know about it right now...maybe someday soon...yay?

A Lesson from CAKE:

Here are some facts that I found interesting, thanks to my new best friends, CAKE.

• The U.S. is 49th in the world in literacy
• The U.S. ranked 28th out of 40 countries in mathematical literacy
• 20% of Americans think that the sun orbits the Earth
• American businesses spend $30 billion yearly on remedial training
• Due to cuts by Congress, the National Science Foundation will issue less than 1,000 grants this year
• The World Health Organization ranked the U.S. 37th in overall health performance and 54th in the fairness of health care, even though the U.S. spends more money per capita for health care than any other nation in the world...hmmm...
• The U.S. and South Africa are the only two countries that don't provide health care for all of their citizens
• Lack of health insurance is responsible for 18,000 unecessary deaths a year
• Mexico is the only country after the U.S. that ranks the highest in childhood poverty
• The U.S. ranks 41st in the world in infant mortality
• Women are 70% more likely to die in childbirth in the U.S. than in Europe
• The leading cause of death to pregnant women in the U.S. is murder
• Americans work longer hours and take less vacation time, but is still ranked last in total compensation to its workforce
• In a recent survey of the world's 50 best companies, all but one were European
• The U.S. has lost 1.3 million jobs to China in the past decade
• U.S. employers eliminated 1 million jobs in 2004
• In the next ten years, Brazil will surpass the U.S. as the world's largest agricultural producer
• 79,279,000 eligible voters didn't show up to the polls last November. If this many Iraqis don't show up for their election, no country in the world would think that election was legitimate.
• Americans spend more money on gambling than movies, videos, DVD's, music, and books combined
• Nearly one out of four Americans believe that using violence to get what they want is acceptable
• 43% of Americans believe that torture is sometimes justified
• Nearly 900,000 children were abused or neglected in 2002, the last year for which such data is available

I Like CAKE !!

It happened, it's done and over with and I'm still reeling. Wednesday night, Jen and I went to see CAKE in Champaign. The show was amazing!

We reached the Assembly Hall in record time. I was able to turn the 1.5 hour drive into a 45-minute venture. I don't know if I was just really excited or I was trying to beat the oncoming storm, but we made it. Along the way, we jammed out to CAKE, of course. Jen and I usually have a hard time staying on task so, as usual, we multi-tasked in the car. Jen was able to make this kick-ass sign to hold up to passing motorists while I drove at warp speeds. (pic coming soon...) We also managed to down an entire bag of Flamin' Hot Munchies.

When we reached the Assembly Hall, we snagged a great parking space close to the door for a small fee of $5. The investment was worth it if we were welcomed by a downpour after the show. Not surprisingly, we also learned that everything else inside the Assembly Hall was not worth the money. We ended up paying $5 for a small drink and a hot dog. Band T-shirts, nothing that you couldn't get on the band's website, were selling for $25 a pop.

We meandered around the building for a while we waited for the first band to begin. It was announced at this time that the first band would start at 7:30, the second at 8:30, and CAKE at 10:00, a little later than we expected. Jen and I were excited when we found our seats. They were dead-center in the seventh row, high enough up to see over all of the UIUC students who had used their discount for general admission, standing room only spots.

Maybe because the place was swarming with students or the fact that sports were actually played in the hall, but there was a nasty odor of locker room/stale unkept dorm floating in the air. The location of the entrance to the actual arena was perfect for us...close enough to the expensive food and right next to the table where we learned that CAKE would be autographing posters (pic to come...) for fans thanks to Virgin Megastores, the tour's sponsor. We picked up our posters and, luckily, Jen was carrying a normal sized purse compared to my small safari bag so she was able to tote the posters around convienently without them getting smashed.

The first band to play was "Robbers on High Street" from New York....brilliant...really, really great stuff. I was in love from the moment that they stepped onto the stage. It's really no secret that I'm in love with nerdy guys, especially smart nerdy guys, and especially, especially nerdy guys with musical talent and especially, especially, especially nerdy guys with big noses...it's a turn on, don't know why, always has been. I love them...I even have two t-shirts proclaiming so. Although the lead guitarist looked a little like an elf and I wasn't really close enough to assess the nose situation... Anyway, enough about my obsessions, the band was great. They sounded a little like Coldplay, but not quite emo enough and lacking too much Gwenyth to be Coldplay. I highly recommend their debut CD, "Tree City" . Give a happy listen to "Beneath the Trees", "Dig the Lightning", and "Big Winter." It's been the only thing I've listened to in my car since I've returned, and if you know me, you know how I can never listen to an entire CD without tiring of it and throwing something else in. These boys are gonna be huge I tell ya! And they've got a sense of humor to boot. If you've ever been to the Assembly Hall, you know that it is massive. They stepped on stage and the lead singer says, "I don't know how to react. We're used to playing bigger places than this. 2,500 is a pretty small venue for us." You know that this tour with CAKE was a big deal for them and their first real gig because they were packing up their own equipment when they were finished and carrying it off stage. You go guys!

The second band, which my lame ass had never heard of, but obviously had a pretty big following at UIUC was Gomez. They're six guys from England with an interesting alternative/celtic/acoustic/rootsy sound who evidently didn't think that the crowd was moving around enough. One member, who was playing keyboards and guitar and resembled Jack Black/Jack Osbourne, commented that in England "when Gomez plays, people fucking move around." This seemed to get the crowd going. They had a fun sound to them, however the lead singer, who reminded me for some reason of the Russian guy from "Rocky" and I have no idea why, didn't impress me. He was a little stiff and sounded too much like Eddie Vedder for my taste. The voice didn't go well with the music...again, just my opinion. Let the hate mail flow as it may...

Jen and I only sat through about six of their songs because we were anxious to meet the CAKE. When we went outside to the lobby, a huge line had already formed, but we assumed it would go rather quickly. An older female member of Assembly Hall security was playing bouncer, trying to round people up and explain the rules of standing in a line. I thought that we had all learned this in Kindergarten, but there must have been something additional that she thought we should know. I was waiting for her to bust out with "no buts, no cuts, no coconuts", but I was disappointed. So we waited and waited some more and waited a little longer...missing Gomez as we waited. There was a little bit of amusement as we read people's printed t-shirts that everyone, including myself, seem to be wearing now. One guy was wearing a Warrant "Cherry Pie" t-shirt, complete with Bobbi Brown's picture on the hood of a car and another guy was wearing a shirt that simply stated, "I'm going to blog this." I really need to get one of those. It made me chuckle.

CAKE finally came out and gathered around the table...and then we were informed by another Assembly Hall, rent-a-cop that they were only going to be meeting and autographing those things that belonged to the first 50 people in line. C'mon now! Jen was hoping to get her poster autographed for her 5-year old son who is also a CAKE fan, but bedtime prevented him from joining us. How disappointing! Jen and I even toyed with the idea of getting some strangers to just sign their names on the poster claiming that he'd never know the difference...and we would have...but we couldn't have lived with ourselves knowing how low we would stoop and what filthy lies we would tell to please little "E". Even though they didn't get to meet us up close and personal, we were still able to go up to the balcony right above and glare at them really hard with judgement, hoping that the pain would pierce their hearts just a little. I was surprised to see, and I'm not just saying this because they let us down tremendously, that they weren't the young spry guys that I thought they were. They looked like they could've been in their late 30's, early 40's. To cope with our feelings of despair and grief, Jen and I made up this little rap/rhyme/ditty:

"You guys called CAKE, You made a mistake. You didn't sign our posters so your discs are in our toasters."

Was their failure to engage in conversation enough to make us turn our backs on this group of guys we loved so much?

Jen and I returned to our seats ready to see if CAKE could possibly redeem themselves. As we waited for the show to start, we were trying to figure out if a nearby guy was holding a pink flamingo with no feet and no beak or if it was some type of model of a stomach...strange. The roadies unveiled a new backdrop, a serene little painting of mountains. CAKE in the Alps...nice.

The excited energy was building, the students were becoming restless, and the lights went down. The band approached the stage. Glorious sounds of applause and familiar tunes filled the air, while the miscellaneous musician to the singer's left played the trumpet and keyboard and the lead singer's unique voice began to do what it does best. I was amazed that the music sounded so much like it does on the CD. That may sound like a stupid comment, but CAKE's music is composed of lots of interesting and sometimes unidentifiable sounds, which I wasn't expecting to hear when they performed live. The lead singer was interactive with the crowd, subtley throwing out political opinions disguised as funny audience banter. For example, during one song where he was encouraging audience participation, he compared the top balconies and the main floor, stating that the people on the bottom were doing all of the work while those above were just sitting there trying to take credit. It was only one of several humorous moments throughout their show. The playlist is as follows, but not in the same order:

"Sheep Go to Heaven"

"Satan is My Motor" (During this song, he tried to get everyone to acknowledge their dark side and sing along...very amusing...)

"Mexico" ("because everyone loves a song in 3/4 time...")

"Never There"

"Wheels"

"No Phone"

"Comfort Eagle"

"Guitar"

"Frank Sinatra"

"Daria"

"The Distance"

"Stickshifts and Safetybelts" (they said that they very rarely ever play this one live..)

"Pentagram" (Encore) ("There are more important issues in the world than education and politics that we are forgetting about...")

"Jolene" (Encore) (dedicated to the "irritating motherfuckers" who wouldn't stop screaming in the their face throughout the show requesting this song...)

I was extremely surprised with the songs that they played or, rather, the songs that they chose not to play. The concert was obviously aimed at those old die-hard CAKE fans or else I'm sure they would've played their cover of "I Will Survive" or "Short Skirt/Long Jacket", the song that launched them back onto MTV after "The Distance" calmed down as well as the song that made them sell more copies of "Comfort Eagle" than any of their other CDs. I also thought that the show would be "Pressure Chief" heavy, but they only played 2 songs from their newest CD. Again, I think that they were presenting the show as a big old "thank you" to existing fans rather than being concerned with gaining new ones. I think that the main reason that I love CAKE so much, over than their music being so damn clever, is that I'll never have to worry about them pulling a "Janeane Garofalo" and selling out on me.

Toward the end of the show, the lead singer stated that he had bronchitis, but you wouldn't have been able to tell by the performance that he gave. He is an appreciative showman with a "don't give a shit unless it's good for humanity" kinda attitude. And that voice! Do I need to mention it again? So memorable...the music wouldn't be the same without him. I'm anxiously awaiting the release of a live CD...how much fun would that be?

Well, there you have it...my review of the evening in a nutshell. It was a great experience and can't wait to party on down with CAKE again soon...oh, and let's not forget the group of amazing groups of nerdy New York boys known as "Robbers on High Street" ...I'm serious...ya really gotta check 'em out!

Is It Just Me...

or does the sound of an ice cream truck make you nauseated and creep you out?

Hoorah!

Thanks to all the visitors who have checked me out daily...As of this moment, I've surpassed 2,000 site visits! Yay! It's not too shabby for a first time project that's only 5 months old...

Thanks for all of your support and keep those comments and e-mails coming!

-Jodes-

Lucky number 16

Do you think that it's a coincidence that we welcomed Pope Benedict XVI (aka: "God's Rottweiler"??) to his new position yesterday and Abe Lincoln was the XVI-th President of the United States? And the smoke started streaming and bells started chiming in the Vatican at the exact same time the dedication of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Complex began? Maybe it's just me...

RAISE THE ROOF!

"To This Place I Owe Everything..."

It was a HUGE day for Springfield yesterday! After months of waiting, hours of hard labor, $115 million, and thousands of cuss words from frustrated downtown drivers, the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum Complex is finally open.

The city has been eating, sleeping, and breathing Lincoln for the past week and Springfield has been crawling with these:

Ironically enough, the weekend celebration that kicked off the events was called "Looking for Lincoln." You must have been blind if you couldn't see him...

On Sunday, there was a massive $75,000 fireworks display/laser show courtesy of taxpayers. I missed the display due to a family crisis, but I heard that a small child with a laser pointer and a smoky cigar would've been a comparable example. However, this picture taken by the SJR's own Justin Fowler, makes them look pretty cool over the complex.

Monday night, the National Guard infiltrated the city. Once again the Feds put a damper on my social life...sigh. We were headed for Blues Night at the Alamo and were stopped on the way in by the owner stating that the guards told him that all activities planned for the bar that evening would have to be cancelled due to security preparations and all foot traffic in the downtown area would be halted in the downtown area at midnight. Watching security get set-up was the exact purpose of going to the Alamo, also to take in the newly opened beer garden in the gorgeous weather. The Alamo was catty-corner from the new Lincoln Complex so we thought we'd head to the inner-most downtown to another drinking establishment.

Let me preface this tale by saying that Springfield blocked off 42 blocks in preparation for the opening on Tuesday. This made parking very difficult. Imagine my surprise when I found a great close spot. As you'll find later, it wasn't as convienent as I had expected.

We ended up walking down to Floyd's, another fun Springfield hotspot. All of the downtown shops and restaurants have been decorating their front windows with Lincoln themes. This is what was in the window of a local popcorn shop. (yes, it's Abe's hat made of black popcorn...)

Floyd's cleverly decorated their window with a Simpson's theme, this is Springfield after all. Nice.

Every Monday night at Floyd's is "Your M.O.M.", a fun open mic night with a fairly large following. On this night, the bar was practically empty, but the boys were still setting up the equipment for those who wanted to brave downtown and take a step up at the mic. Once the event actually began, there was quite a crowd. Of course, each person who got up to sing and/or play dedicated their selection to either Honest Abe, George W., or "librarians in short plaid skirts", in honor of Tuesday's festivities.

The longer we sat and talked and the closer it got to midnight, the more concerned I got about my car. I kept trying to think of solutions in case my car was blocked in by the National Guard. I didn't want to have to rely on my mad Ninja skills to get me out of the jam. It wouldn't be pretty for either party. Jenny decided to meet a friend somewhere else so Lisa and I hung out by ourselves. Lisa was getting sleepy so we decided to leave. I had to walk a couple of blocks back to the car, but I wasn't particulary concerned about security because it was everywhere. However, once I got to my car, all of the excess security became an issue. The street on which I was parked was blocked on both ends with gun-wielding National Guard officers standing at the barricades. I really needed my car and couldn't wait until Tuesday night to get it. I walked over to a police officer that I spotted and, it could've been the short-ass skirt I was wearing, but he was more than willing to escort me, lights and all, out of the barricades onto a safer street.

Then comes Tuesday...the BIG DAY for Springfieldians! President Bush landed at the airport in his Air Force One (could he have been wearing a "perr" of Air Force Ones as well? No, probably not, Nelly is from St. Louis...) and headed straight to the complex. Rumor had it that Clinton, Bush Sr., and Carter were all going to attend the dedication ceremony, but they all had prior engagements. In order to attend the event, one had to have tickets and it sounded, as I listened to the dedication on the radio on my drive to work, that even the "standing room only" spots were packed. I was a little sad about missing the event, but the more I heard, the happier I was that I was tooling down the obstruction-free streets all alone.

As for the complex, it sounds really amazing, it certainly has a grand presence. I'll admit that when the idea was first introduced to the city, along with the price tag, my first thought was of how many citizens in need could be assisted with that much money. Being in social services, my mind just automatically drifts to those issues when the topic of funds is introduced. However, now, after seeing what I've seen of the museum without actually going inside, I think that it's going to be a great addition to Springfield. Growing up here where Lincoln is always the "talk of the town", I think that we sometimes take advantage of what this city has to offer us as well as the rest of the world. Hopefully, the new complex, which is two times larger than any other presidential museum in the country I might add, will enlighten us a little to what our fair city can provide.

I can't wait to actually see what all the fuss is about. I've heard that it's kind of an Epcot-ish, smoke and mirror approach to learning about Lincoln's accomplishments. If that's what makes people pay attention and draws in a larger crowd, so be it. Rest assured that I'll be posting a full review after I've visited...to be continued...

Spidey's Dance Moves...

He'll make you gay,

He'll make you gay,

And you'll sing that stupid damn song all day.

Please help! I can't get this out of my head!

(Although I do have to admit that he has some pretty sweet dance moves...so graceful is he!!)

It's Just as We Suspected...

Brit's knocked up...Read all about it here and then send her all your best here. Believe it or not, Fetus Spears even has its very own blog already...check out it's profile here.

Thanks to Trent for keeping us all posted...

Kid Joke

A few of the pre-teen boys in shelter made up this joke and have been telling it to everyone everyday. I promised them that I'd share it here...

Q: Why can't you borrow money from Jodi?
A: Because she's always a little short.

Good One, Guys!

Could It Really Be??

Concert Season !!!

Summer is not my favorite season, however, it does have it's perks. The highlight of every summer is attending numerous concerts and this summer shant be any different.

Here's the run-down so far:

April 20 - Cake (did I mention that I have 7th row tix?)

June 1 - Dave Matthews Band (it's the first show of their summer tour...)

July 9 - Tom Petty and The Black Crowes (is this for real or am I dreaming?)

Rest assured, I'll keep ya posted...some things are just too exciting to keep to myself...

He's Gone to the Great Pope-mobile in the Sky...

I was one of the several who listened to the radio and watched CNN religiously (pardon the pun) awaiting the death of the Pope. The world is saddened by this loss and looking forward to seeing who is believed to be fit enough to follow up such a profound historical figure. (Personally, I'm rooting for the candidate from Nigeria.)

I was trying to figure out a warm tribute to the Pope that I could publish as today's entry, but if you're alive, you've heard about how wonderful the Pope was and all of the great things that he's accomplished in his life. I've decided to celebrate his automatic entrance into heaven with my favorite Pope joke of all time. God Bless!

"The Pope had just finished a tour of the US and was taking a limo to the airport. Having never driven a limo before, he asks the chauffeur if he can drive for a while. In this situation, the chauffeur doesn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the car and turns the wheel over to the Pope.

The Pope is doing well, but then he starts accelerating rapidly to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 MPH and then suddenly sees red and blue lights in the rearview mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes up to his window.

The trooper, seeing who it is, says, "Wait just a moment, I need to call in."

The trooper calls in to the station and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over and asks how to handle it.

"Is it the Governor?"
"No! Even more important!"
"Is it the President?"
"No sir, it's even more important!"
"Well, who the heck is it?" screams the chief.
"I don't know sir," replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur!"

Just in Case You're Wondering...

I've started the "lifestyle change" yet again...

So far today I've consumed 6 grams of fat and 643 calories...right on target!

American Idiot??

Well, my friends, it seems as if we have a little situation on our hands. I was just starting to get into this season of "American Idol" after slacking with season 3. Of course, just when I start to enjoy something, an element of it goes terribly wrong. I have officially began my AI boycott...unless the country sees things my way.

Thanks to this, it was discovered that contestant Scott Savol has some issues. In 2001, he not only threatened to kidnap his 3-week old son, but he also threw a phone at his girlfriend, and mother of his child, so hard into her chest that the phone broke. His girlfriend was successful in getting a restraining order on behalf of herself and the child. Good job, Mr. Savol. What a great guy.

As if Savol's actions weren't bad enough, AI producers have taken it one step further down the chute by saying that because he was "honest about his past" and "showed remorse", he isn't going to be asked to leave the show.

Watch out folks, I'm pulling out the soap box. Being an advocate for victims of domestic violence, I am appalled that a show like AI would allow such a situation to remain ignored. If Savol had killed his girlfriend, would the situation be the same? If he were also honest about that and told producers that he was sorry? Some things just can't be forgotten.

Another concern is that the target audience of AI is obviously females, young females, in fact. By allowing Savol to remain on the show, the seriousness of the incident is letting these girls know that violence against women isn't a serious enough crime when it comes to talent. Is a violent man really the person that you believe should be given the chance to become an IDOL for these girls or anyone?

If you recall, two past AI contestants, Corey Clark and Jared Andrews, were dismissed from the show after it was discovered they had assault charges against them. Frenchie Davis was given the boot after it was discovered she had appeared topless on an adult website while she was in college. This, of course, was her choice and it didn't harm anyone. Still, if these three people were not seen as fit "Idols" for the public, then what is Savol still doing living in the big house and getting weekly airtime? I'm quite certain that if you asked Clark, Andrews, and Davis, they are all sorry for what they did in the past just as much as Savol.

Scott's actions are much more serious than just having an "anger management" issue. Abusers don't have "anger management" problems. They are fully aware of what they are doing. Note that when abusers get angry, they don't just punch the first person they see on the street, they direct that anger and violence toward their partners and children. This is clearly a choice that is being made. No one is forcing them to injure another person.

Unfortunately the producers of the show and FOX aren't seeing this as a serious enough problem to make him deal with the consequences of his poor decisions. Not only is this incredibly scary, it's also incredibly dangerous and incredibly unfair. It's unfair to all of those others who deserve to have his spot in the competition and it's unfair to all of those victims of domestic violence because they are being shown that those who inflict pain upon them, can still be an "American Idol." Personally speaking, I can honestly say that I hope to God that my children never ever idolize someone like Savol. When I think of the word "idol", I think of someone who is a positive role model, respectful, interested in doing what's best for themselves and others, and someone who certainly has earned the title and worthy enough to represent what it stands for.

So, what happens next? Yes, letters will be written to American Idol producers, FOX, perhaps even Savol himself by disappointed fans, victims of dating violence, even staff members who work for domestic violence agencies. Will these letters be enough to make a difference? Every week Seacrest tells us that the decision is up to us, will America do the right thing this week? Will the news of his violent actions make a difference? I suppose we shall find out on Wednesday...

Scott Savol, your next American Idol??

R.I.P.

Life can be funny...but it can also be cruel...when it takes those who are hysterical away from us. Sadly, Mitch Hedberg, one of my favorite comedians ever died this week of heart failure at the young age of 37. Many suspect drug use, his mother says that he was born with a heart defect....whatever the cause of death, it doesn't make the loss any less tragic. Check out some of his classic clips here. I've included some of my favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes. Enjoy!

• "I would imagine that if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

• "At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said, 'Certainly.' He said, 'Do I need to dial 9?' I say, 'Yeah, especially if it's in the number.'"

• "I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unecessary."

• "This shirt is dry clean only, which means it's dirty."

• "I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt. I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I give you money and you give me a doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring paper and ink into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here.' It's in my file at home...under 'D' "

• "My friend was walking down the street the other day and said, 'I hear music.' As if there were any other way to take it in. I tried to taste it, but it didn't work."

• "It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. 'Whoa! Where's my wallet? But this song is funky...' "

• "It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

• "I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me, they just say, 'Mitch', and I say, 'What?' and turn my head slightly."

• "I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and told me that I was going to have to move because I was blocking a fire exit. As though if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

• "My friend said to me, 'You know what I like? Mashed potatoes.' I was like, 'Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.'

• "If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker and you were walking down the sidewalk and they fell, that would be totally unacceptable."

• "My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them to. I'm like, 'Hey! Hold on fellows! Let me hold one of you and feed you a leaf!' Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me?"

• "I opened a yogurt up, underneath the lid it said, 'Please try again' because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I had opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me...'Come on, Mitchell, don't give up!' An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom and hope on the top."

• "On a traffic light, yellow means yield and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite. Yellow means go ahead and green means stop. Red means, where'd ya get that banana?"

• "I use the word 'totally' too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. 'Mitch, do you like submarine sandwiches?' 'All-encompassingly...' "

• "I haven't slept for ten days because that would be way too long."

• "I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument because when I tried to walk out, I had to slam the flap."

• "I like vending machines because snacks are better when they fall."

• "I love blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

• "I think that foosball is a combination of soccer and shish-ka-bobs."

• "I think that Pringles intention was to make tennis balls but on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is such a laid back company that they just said, 'Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

• "When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.' "

• "I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something."

• "When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy, they start a waiting list. They say, 'Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two' and if no one answers, they'll say the name again. 'Dufrane, party of two.' But if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. 'Bush, party of three.' Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to care , who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufrane's are in someone's trunk right now , with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry. That's a double whammy! We need help! Bush search party of three! You can eat once you find the Dufranes!!"

Lemme Splain Sumphin....

Unfortunately, the world is being bombarded with sadness, tragedy, and grief...one of the most devastating events of the past 2 weeks is the fact that my computer has been infested. For who knows what reason, I wake up to the image of a giant vagina on my computer screen every morning...it's great, just fucking great. Anyway, giant vaginas aside, the virus is causing me stress and to spend less time at my computer. Until Joe can make a housecall, my posts will be a little slow. However, for the benefit of my favorite readers, you know who you are, I will give you a few good rants this evening...maybe this will hold you over until the next post. Glad you got to hear from me.