"You Too" and Stuff...

If it's "a penny for your thoughts" but you have to "put your two cents in", someone is making a penny somewhere.

Monday, January 31, 2005


The week couldn't go by fast enough for me. It was hectic, I was working on something out of the office so I felt as if I wasn't getting anything done, and my sleep schedule was way off. Of course, I knew that the sleep issue wouldn't improve with the upcoming activities of the weekend.

My friend Dave is a law student in Chicago and, although I talk to him daily, I haven't seen him in a couple of years. I'm not really sure what the reasoning is behind that other than we both have busy schedules and Dave travels to fabulous far off lands often so it seems we're never in the Windy City at the same time.

It was a reunion of sorts this weekend. Chris ("meet ya at the Square guy") and Dave were roommates in college, along with another guy named Jeff. They all decided to get together this weekend. I joined them for their evening of pub-hopping. We met at Sammy's, a sports bar downtown for dinner. It was sooo exciting to see Dave and Jeff again. We did a lot of catching up. I haven't talked to Jeff since we graduated, but he was exactly the same as I remembered him. He reminds me of Milton from "Office Space." The very first time that I met him, he was all decked out in knee and elbow pads and rollerblading around the living room of the guys' apartment. That's the image that still comes to mind everytime I think of him.

Dave doesn't get to Springfield often so he couldn't pass up the opportunity to get a "Horseshoe", a food that one could only find in this city. It's an artery-clogging combination of toast topped with meat of one's choice, french fries, and then drenched in cheese sauce. Dave talked me into forgetting that I was on a diet and go for one too. I decided on the buffalo chicken, but it was too hot...and it didn't mix well with my Smirnoff. Dave discussed his disappointment over not being able to get U2 tickets, I shared my Ticketmaster tricks to guarantee you always get tickets, and Jeff talked about his new "friend", a girl in Russia who won't tell Jeff what her occupation is.

Fast forward to stop #2, the Brewhaus. It's always a favorite, boasting over 100 imports. Jeff (the "lucky bastard") and Dave threw back liters of Weissbier while Chris settled for Bailey's and coffee. I went with a Brewhaus favorite, the Pink Squirrel, followed by a Rum & Coke. While we were sitting there, a man with lots of facial piercings, so many in fact that I'm not exactly sure how any liquid would stay in his head without gushing out the numerous holes, came up to me and introduced himself. He showed us a picture of his kid and his wife's dog. It was a strange situation, but became even stranger when he grabbed a straw and shared my drink with me. I ran into not 1, but 2 ghosts from the past, that's always fun. My friend Jen showed up later and we moved to location #3.

We went to the Alamo to meet Coco, a friend from the Stadium, our usual hangout. When we reached the Alamo, it was evident that Coco had started consuming the spirits early that evening. Chris decided that he was finished drinking, but Jenny, Dave, Jeff and I took Coco up on his offer to do a shot. Jenny, Dave, Jeff and Coco went for a Misdemeanor while I went for something a little less crazy, an O-Bomb, Bacardi O mixed with Red Bull. Yuck! Chris and Jeff decided to leave. Dave and I hung out with Coco and Jen and shut the shack down. Dave was impressed by the amount of irish whiskey they gave him for $3 a glass...he really became obsessed with it. I was happy with my water, I had already overdone it. Jen and Coco decided to head over to another pub while Dave and I decided that we would go dancing...Yay!

By the time we got to Breaktime, the DJ was only playing country tunes and the crowd was winding down. We ended up just sitting in my car catching up for quite a while before I delivered him safely through the fog back to Chris' house, where he was staying while in town. It seems that Chris drank too much because when Dave arrived, he was very sick. We used to tease Chris about becoming intoxicated by just smelling alcohol...we weren't aware of the dangers of him actually consuming it! I said my good-byes to Dave and agreed to visit him soon. On my drive home, back through the fog, I got a call from Jen. She was abandoned at a friend's house so I rescued her and took her home. By the time I was finished taxi-ing people around, it was almost 5am before I even reached my front door.

What did you do this weekend?

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Strangers with Jodi

The goal of this exercise is to identify nine other bloggers that you would like to meet for dinner/drinks. The only caveat is that these bloggers must be strangers, you haven't met them before. State the blogger's name, a link to the blog, and why you would like him/her to be in attendance.

(1) Gerard, The Presurfer. I have a list of sites that I visit everyday and this is the one that I hit first. I don't know much about the "Great Gerard" himself, but his blog always leads me to various oddities and fun sites on the web. I would love to throw back a few with Gerard and try to figure out the method to his madness. Thanks for the amusement and the idea for today's entry!

(2) Kim, Bacon and Eh's. Congratulations to this Canadian for being a finalist at the 2005 Bloggies Awards! She's always entertaining whether she's talking about something amusing her kids have done or posting several links surrounding one particular theme. I've seen her name all over the place, excluding bathroom walls...she seems to be a favorite among many! It would be an honor to dine with someone so adored!

(3) Cynical-C Blog. Hilarious! The mystery writer of the blog is without a doubt, one of the most amusing blogs I've read. It's always filled with quirky content, bizarre photos, and hilarious commentary. I would love to know who produces this gem! Present yourself!

(4) Alexis, Drama Queen Confessions. This is a relatively new blog that I've luckily stumbled upon. Alexis is a self-declared George Clooney addict...and her hubby even looks a little like him too. I was led to her blog to check out one of her "Hump Day Hotties"...from there I was hooked! We share a lot of common hobbies so she is always providing me with new information and treasures to explore! Hooray!

(5) Anne, Fishbucket. Often in the morning, I check out new stuff on-line over a bagel before I have to rush off to that thing they call "work." She lists various interesting sites to check out. Anne's straight to the point, no playing around. She says, "Here's some fun stuff. Check it out. Like it or leave it. Come back tomorrow." Short and sweet...I like those who keep life simple.

(6) Renee, Gen X Nostalgia. Anyone who has a site which revolves entirely around the 80's is a-okay in my book! Like myself, Renee looks back on the 80's with fondness and adoration. Her blog is dedicated to analyzing those things that were so puzzling to us about the decade, yet made us so happy. Whether it's Rick Astley or Wham lyrics, the girl has got it covered. She's also very helpful at giving colorful, VH-1 style, "Where are they now?" up dates. I love it! Check out Renee's other site Midwest Bloggin'. If you're from this area, you can relate to her stories fairly well.

(7) Scott, Stereogum. In case you haven't noticed in my blog, I'm a musical enthusiast. Scott's site provides the best music news/commentary anywhere. He has all genres covered graciously. He is also amazing at reminding us of how bad music can be. I would certainly trust him to be in charge of the music during cocktail hour.

(8) Andrea, Andrea's Photo Blog. I was introduced to Andrea's site by Alexis. Yes, someone actually does like to know what everyone else is looking at. This is what I can say about Andrea's blog...It doesn't get much more fun than this. Andrea is an amazing photographer (she can take souvenir dinner pics for the group...) and her site is filled with lots of amusing nibblets. It's very rare when I can find someone who loves Demeter as much as myself. Who could have imagined? I can at least say that we would smell the best at the dinner party...as long as she doesn't go with the Funeral Home scent...

(9) Jeff, Dinoblog. The reason that I would like to meet Jeff is so that I can give him a big hug. His blog is so sad, yet so addicting. It's not often that a guy is going to put his personal life right out there for everyone to see. It seems as if he's lost his girl, his money, and even a little bit of weight. I think a little company might do Jeff some good...Hang in there, my friend.

Friday, January 28, 2005


(watch out for those land mines...)

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

A DYNAMITE Quiz (courtesy of the SJ-R)

The following quiz was printed in the local newspaper in a weekly section that is geared towards teens. Unfortunately, because I'm over the age of 18, I couldn't participate in the contest. And I knew most of the answers too! Of course, now I know them all and being the cool person that I am, I'm giving you a chance to take the quiz. The first person, who in my contest must be at least 18, that answers all of the questions correctly will win a flippin' sweet Napoleon Dynamite-related prize. LUCKY!

Good Luck and Have Fun!

1) On what short film was "Napoleon Dynamite" based?
2) What will Kip love always and forever?
3) Why was Napoleon late to Kip and La Fawndah's wedding?
4) What kind of gun was used to shoot the Alaskan wolverines?
5) Where is Napoleon's "girlfriend" from?
6) What is the name of the farmer who shoots the cow in front of the kids on the school bus?
7) Name the artist and the title of the song that Summer Wheatley and the Happy Hands Club dance to.
8) In which city and state does Napoleon live?
9) How many hours did it take Napoleon to shade in Trisha's upper lip?
10) Why did a gang want to recruit Napoleon?
11) Where is Pedro from (include city)?
12) What is written on Grandma Dynamite's shirt in the four-wheeling scene?
13) How many student extras' names are listed in the closing credits?
14) What two foods does Napoleon feed Tina?
15) What does Napoleon pick up before he buys "De Kwon's Dance Moves"?
16) What TV show did the actor who plays Rex appear and what was his character's full name?
17) How many boondoggle key chains did Napoleon make at summer camp?
18) What object does Jon Heder's (Napoleon) name appear on during the opening credits?
19) What band sings the opening song and what is the title?
20) What sport is Napoleon playing in the DVD's deleted scene?

"What are you gonna do today Napoleon?"

"After I finish this quiz, I'll do whatever I feel like I wanna do, Gosh!"

Monday, January 24, 2005


Sunday, January 23, 2005


Well, it's official...I've been visited by the flu bug. Working in a shelter where lots of people are residing, I knew that I was bound to get it sooner or later. Like vomiting isn't bad enough, being emetophobic doesn't help matters at all. I've survived the worst and think I'll be ok. Wish me (and my gastrointestinal system) lots of luck!

Regarding someone whose luck has run out, I was sad to hear that the "King of Late Night", Johnny Carson, passed away today. I remember spending the night at my grandmother's house with my cousin and we would stay awake watching Mr. Carson's show. We liked the animals and when he wore that crazy fortune teller get-up mostly, but we still had fun trying to figure out what he was talking about when he made all of those sexual innuendos that we were too young to understand. And who could forget his very last episode where Bette Midler sang "One More for the Road?" that made Mr. Carson teary-eyed. It was only then that we realized that we would be going to bed lonely without him.

"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you possibly could have imagined." - Johnny Carson

Thursday, January 20, 2005


I don't know what I can possibly say...maybe this will help.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

To-Do List

Here's a list of some things that you may want to do before the big inaugaration on Thursday...

(1) Drink a nice clean glass of water.
(2) Cash your social security check.
(3) See a doctor of your own choosing.
(4) Spend quality time with your draft age children/grandchildren.
(5) Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
(6) Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
(7) Hoard gasoline.
(8) Borrow books from the library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, "Catcher in the Rye", "Harry Potter", "Tropic of Cancer", etc.
(9) If you have an idea for a piece of art involving a crucifix, do it now.
(10) Come out - and then go back in - Hurry!
(11) Jam in all of the Alzheimer's stem cell research that you can.
(12) Stay out late before the curfews start.
(13) Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident."
(14) Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
(15) Use the phrase, "You can't do that - this is America."
(16) If you're white, marry a black person. If you're black, marry a white person.
(17) Take a walk in Yosemite without being hit by a snowmobile.
(18) Enroll your kid in an accelerated music or art class.
(19) Start your school day without a prayer.
(20) Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
(21) Learn French.
(22) Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
(23) Take a factory tour anywhere in the U.S.
(24) Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
(25) Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
(26) Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
(27) Visit Alaska before "the big spill."
(28) Visit Massachusettes while it's still a state.
(29) Stock up on birth control pills.

Monday, January 17, 2005

I Have A Dream

"Let us be dissatisfied until America will no longer have a high blood pressure of creeds and an anemia of deeds.

Let us be dissatisfied until the tragic walls that separate the outer city of wealth and comfort from the inner city of poverty and despair shall be crushed by the battering rams of the forces of justice.

Let us be dissatisfied until those who live on the outskirts of hope are brought into the metropolis of daily security.

Let us be dissatisfied until slums are cast into the junk heaps of history and every family will live in a decent, sanitary home.

Let us be dissatisfied until integration is not seen as a problem but as an opportunity to participate in the beauty of diversity.

Let us be dissatisfied until men and women will be judged on the basis of the content of their character, not on the basis of the color of their skin.

Let us be dissatisfied until every state capitol will be housed by a governor who will do justly, who will love mercy, and who will walk humbly with his God.

Let us be dissatisfied until from every city hall, justice will roll down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.

Let us be dissatisfied until that day when the lion and the lamb shall lie down together, and every man will sit down under his own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid.

Let us be dissatisfied until that day when nobody will shout, "White power!" when nobody will shout, "Black power!" but everybody will talk about human power."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

August 16, 1967

Shivering on Sunday

It is so freakin' cold here! However, it was the perfect day to attend the International Chili Society's Winterfreeze Cook-off ! I attended the event annually for a number of reasons. The International Chili Society only has cook-offs to benefit charity. This year the chosen charity was
St. Jude's Children's Hospital. The second reason that I attend is because my favorite local band, Mr. Opporknockity, always plays the event. They haven't been playing in Springfield recently so it gave me an opportunity to catch up with them. Whenever they're around, a great time is always guaranteed.

This year I received an e-mail from a friend at the local country radio station who had asked me if I wanted to help out at the event. WFMB was sponsoring the event as part of the "Country Cares" campaign that country music stations across the country were participating in throughout 2005. St. Jude's Children's Hospital is the main charity that Regena supports so she was excited when I asked her if she wanted to work with me. We decided that we would assist with collecting admissions and selling 50/50 raffle tickets.

The cook-off was a blast ! The place was sooo crowded and at the time we left, over $1,500 had been raised! Regena and I couldn't resist trying to find out favorite cook so we sampled 12 different chilis. Our mouths were on fire and we couldn't find enough water to make the pain go away. We learned that our tastes in chili is quite similar and agreed on who we thought should have taken home first place.

Mr. O was there to represent as usual, but some things had changed. They were playing with a new lead guitarist, Michael Sullivan. I was worried because I didn't know how the band would do without their previous lead guitarist. The guys always worked so well together and I didn't think that a replacement would work, but they sounded like they were doing ok for it being Michael's first gig with the group. I was sad to learn that another link was leaving the band to join another one. Steve Myers, the bass guitarist had seemed to appear from out of nowhere when he first joined the band and certainly fit in better than the previous bass guitarist. It was a fun ride watching him blossom with the group. It will be sad to see him go. Good Luck, Steve! Does anyone out there play the bass guitar?? (Just tryin' to help ya out Troy...)

Before we left, Michelle, one of the hosts of the morning show on WFMB showed up. She had just flown in from Memphis. She actually toured St. Jude's and you could tell that she was gung-ho, ready to raise as much money as she could to help the kids. Congrats to all for such a successful event!

While our stomachs felt like they were on fire, the weather was still cold outside when we left. For some strange reason I couldn't get my car to start. Of course, as soon as I got someone on the phone who knew about cars and started cursing the situation, Regena turned the key and it started right up.

Suddenly Saturday

Saturdays are usually more hectic for me than work days, but that's by choice, so I really can't complain. Sundays are the days I reserve for TV and bon-bons.

My friend Regena and I work in the same office, but don't see each other as often as we'd like so we have had monthly "dates" for the past year now. With the holidays, we weren't able to get together in December so we decided that this weekend we would have the "date" of all "dates."

Regena on a dare

I started Saturday off without Regena when I attended the library book sale. Why is it that when there is a book sale, the library is crawling with people who look like they don't even know what a book is. I didn't find any good deals, mainly because I wasn't looking that hard. The best part about used books sales is scanning the titles of the books. Of course you aren't going to find books by authors that you've heard of...that really would be a bargain for $0.50. The sale was full of old Harlequin novels, yellowing cook books from the 50's, and copies upon copies of "I'm OK/You're OK." Regena was spending the morning at a church meeting before she met up with me for lunch at The Feed Store so I decided that I would purchase a book for her since she missed out on the sale. I found the perfect book entitled, "Tramp for the Lord." I hoped that she would appreciate it for the book certainly cracked my ass up.

In the past few years, downtown Springfield has grown a little larger, mostly thanks to the numerous new bars. One of my favorite things to do is get up early on a Saturday morning to get coffee at Trout Lily Cafe and then browse one of several small shops that have opened. I got my fill on Saturday morning before I had to meet Regena for lunch. I was able to buy some new anti-Bush buttons to sport for Thursday.

After lunch, we took a chance on "Coach Carter" which turned out to be decent, much better than I had anticipated. We then did a little shopping and headed to
The Scrapping Bee. Scrapbooking is one of my new favorite hobbies and Regena hadn't ever done it before so I lugged all of my shit with me. I gave her a brief tutorial and she finished her first page. Hoorah!

We had a trivia tournament to get to and were running behind schedule so we grabbed our random snacks and dashed. This was a new trivia experience because we officially had a full team. It seems like trivia seems to always fall on weekends that are bad for everyone so we're constantly scrambling for last minute additions to our team so that we can even compete, but it all worked out on Saturday. The categories seemed easier than usual..."Snow" (because everyone knows that I want to think about things that are Winter related...), "Everything But the Kitchen Sink", "Tri-bond", and "Let's Go Bananas", among six others. Regena and I had been teasing all week about our team possessing the token African-American person and the possibilities of us having a Martin Luther King, Jr. category seeing as his birthday was on Monday. What are the chances that we would really have a "I Have A Dream" category. Pretty good that evening, we swept it.

It was also a particularly sweet evening because I had invited a new friend to join us. I had met him before Thanksgiving at Blues Night and we have been talking regularly. Joe is a fun guy (he would crack a mushroom joke about now...), who also happens to favor James Spader. He works with my friend, Court, who he claims is acting as a mole to get the inside scoop about him. We had gone on a fabulous "date" during which we had gone to all of the best downtown spots. We had a lot in common and always had good conversation. Joe is an interesting guy. I knew that my mother and my aunt and uncle would be playing on this particular evening and was wondering if he would be intimidated meeting family members. It went swimmingly. He was amusing, charming, and very smart. I think that everyone thought he was a great addition to the team. Lovely. We ended up coming in 4th place, a feat that we weren't used to.

My friend Lisa was going to be celebrating her 20-something birthday on Sunday so we decided that we would take her out on the town. The weather wasn't the best so Regena went home, Rachel went to go get her kids from the sitter's house, and the family certainly can't keep us with us when we go out. It was down to Lisa, Joe, and I. There was a huge Elvis convention at the Springfield Hilton so Joe and I thought that it would be funny to go see how many of them we could get to sing "Happy Birthday" to Lisa. By the time we got to the hotel, the competition was still going on and we didn't want to pay the $20 admission to see the show. It was an odd site though, men and women of various ages dressed up like "The King." I wished that I had my camera because it certainly would've been fun to get Lisa's pictures taken with the impersonators.

Me and Lisa

Joe called us and said that he had already headed to The Brewhaus to meet some friends so we walked in the bitter cold, almost sliding on our asses a few times. In honor of Lisa's birthday, we drank Pink Squirrels. Joe had met some friends at the bar so he was trying to "inter-mingle" between the two groups. At one point he invited himself to our 10 year class reunion and shared the fact that he was going to the "Zabava", a Ukrainian Debutante Ball in the Chicago area. I thought that he was joking, about the Ball that is. Evidentially, he was not. That boy was always teaching me something new. He kept attempting to pick me up...literally. I warned him that he was going to get a hernia, so he stopped and settled for a dance to something by Sinatra.


I'm going to use this font today because it seems to be the "in" font to use. Plus, I feel like being a little different...what else is new?

Is it just me or has everyone else had the busiest weekend ever? It seems like I had something planned for every second of the day. I wasn't supposed to have today off, but a co-worker offered to switch holidays with me due to her prior plans. Now I will be working on President's Day, but that's ok. With the inauguration coming up this week, I'm not really impressed by any president-related anything at this point. It's kind of like when you get a box of chicken nuggets and the third one you eat has a big nasty piece of grizzle in it. You're no longer happy about chicken nuggets and it's a really long time before you eat them again. Bush is my grizzle-tainted chicken nugget. Don't even get me started on the inauguration expenses...Actually, I guess that's a good place to begin this weekend's entry.

Friday after work, I met my friend Chris for dinner. Chris and I long decided that if we're not married by the time we're 40, we're going to just give up and become "domestic partners." Chris and I met in college and he's one of my best friends. We don't see each other very often due to busy schedules, but we at least try to get together once a month. We're already like an old married couple. We're set in our ways and feel uncomfortable if something disrupts our system. He usually just gives me a call at work and says, "Meet me at the Square." and I know exactly what this means and what time I'm supposed to be there without further conversation. If we go to the movies, the concession stand is a given. We know exactly what we're getting. In the the theater, we sit in the same place every time. This day was different. As many of you already know, I'm a consumer whore so when I saw a commercial about TGIF's new 3-course deal, I got excited. Chris hesitantly agreed to go...and we did.

Chris at "The Square"

As I was waiting in the parking lot, I was listening to talk radio, a habit I had formed after Winter had forced me to listen to NPR anytime we were in a vehicle. I'm now an addict. I used to love listening to the local hard rock station's morning show because the host was/is an idiot. I enjoyed being able to actually scream at him in my car because of his sexist, off-color, ignorant statements. I should have gotten a job for the FCC. I now listen to anything from stock trading info to sports radio.

This night I was listening to Lars something-or-other, who was a self-proclaimed conservative. He was talking about the money that is going to be spent on the inauguration and how it was such a waste, but then he switched and started talking about how if a Democrat were being sworn in, money wouldn't be an issue. He didn't do a very good job at trying to make his point because at the end, I still didn't understand exactly what was making him so upset if he indeed wanted Bush in office. I did know that I was pissed off by the items that this guy was throwing out regarding things that could be purchased for the amount of money that was being spent on the inaugaration, and Chris being my main debate partner on almost all political-related issues, was about to be forced into a discussion. According to a Washington Post article that Lars was quoting, the $40 million in private funds could be used to purchase 200 armored Hum-Vee's, vaccinations for 22 million children, or a down payment on this massive deficit we seem to have accrued. Taxpayers would then be responsible for paying for all other inauguration-related expenses outside of the $40 million. I have to stop here because I can keep on ranting, but I'd rather save it for Thursday. Surprisingly enough however, when I started discussing the issue with Chris, he took my side.

I have been to TGIF's less than 5 times in my life. Each time I go I remember why this is. It's a nightmare. Unless you're a firefighter, I believe that suspenders as part of your uniform should be banned, especially suspenders that are decked out with such classy buttons as the one our waitress was wearing that stated, "Yeah, like I'm going to work my ass off for your $1 tip." Wow. That's like me wearing a T-shirt to work that reads, "And you're telling me your problem because..."

The 3-course meal that I was looking forward to wasn't as exciting as I was hoping. The appetizer choices were great, the entree options were ok, but the dessert...not so good. You had 2 choices: cheesecake or low-carb cheesecake. I don't know why I was so disappointed because it's not like I'm ever able to eat dessert after I stuff myself at one of these these restaurants anyway. This occasion wasn't any different. Chris wanted to split a rich brownie dessert, but by the time I finished with my Cajun Shrimp and Chicken Pasta, my stomach couldn't handle another thing. This was not our "Square" and I immediately felt bad for taking a risk.

This nasty bronchial/cold/allergy/flu thing that's claiming everyone's precious hours due to this fucked-up weather, has hit. I had bronchitis last week and it seems to have struck my mother this week. I knew that her boyfriend was taking her to PromptCare so I thought that I'd check on her after dinner instead of attending the movie that Chris and I had planned on. When I got home, she was sleeping and doing ok so I decided to head out to a local drinking establishment that was close to my house. My new favorite local band was playing there.
The Oohs are great, mixing up 70s classics with 80s hits and even a few 90s top 40 tunes. Look forward to another "Oohs-themed" entry soon.

Frank and Brian from The Oohs

Jenny met me at The Stadium for some good times and spirits. Jenny is an attractive woman so it seems whenever she goes to this particular bar, all the men around want to buy her drinks. This usually benefits me as well because we're a 2-for-1 deal. You can't buy a girl a drink and just ignore her "cute" friend. It's a good thing I'm not a drinker. Jenny, who can't seem to say no, graciously accepts these drinks. On this particular evening, instead of Jenny rubbing her ass on everyone when she dances as she usually does when she becomes intoxicated, she fell on her ass...she actually fell into the band onto one of their amps and an electric guitar. Coincidentally, they were playing "867-5309/Jenny" at the time. Immediately after the fall I drove her ass straight home and made sure that she got inside ok.

Jenny and I

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

It's Amusing to Me...

So, I've decided that I need to put a hold on all of those silly resolutions that I made on January 1 and begin with one goal. I need to laugh a little more. The following have provided me with plenty of chuckles over the past few days. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do...on a regular basis...totally sober...

He's back! It's my favorite pianist except this time he's gettin' a little riskier...he's added a blindfold! Check out the video...however, be prepared, he does kinda look like a hostage in a padded cell...(totally kidding if you happen to read this Mr. Pianist...you're amazing!)

I laugh and love this...I'm going to have to try this sometime. Don't worry, I'll post the video for all to see! Anyone have any song suggestions or a cam so they can join in?

That Ken Jennings, he's always trying to be class clown!

O.K., this one doesn't make me laugh as much as it grosses me out...not the first two kids...hang on until the underdog joins in. Yuck.

This has always been a favorite. It's dedicated to Becky! Warning: Fast Squirrels! Weeeee!

Happy Hump Day!

Sunday, January 09, 2005

What Happens Now?

It seems that if there have been a variety of changes that I wasn't expecting in the New Year. What was supposed to be a care-free year with a new beginning and snow white start isn't so. I've been sick for 2 weeks, I've had drama with ex-boyfriends, I've had a death in a the family, and I managed to erase half of my programs off of my computer. Anyone have any good advice on how to deal with a situation such as this? I'll eventually have to learn to "Let Go."

"Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
Cause it's all going off without you.
Excuse me,
Too busy writing your tragedy.
These mishaps you bubble wrap
When you've no idea what you're like.
So let go,
Jump in.
Well, whatcha waitin' for?
It's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown.
So let go,
Just get in.
Oh it's so amazing here.
It's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown.
The more it gains the more than it gives
And it rises with the fall.
So hand me that remote,
Can't you see that all that stuff's a slideshow?
Such boundless pleasure,
We've no time for later now.
You can't wait your own arrival.
You've 20 seconds to comply.
So Let Go."
~Frou Frou~

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

2004 Sucked...and Here's the Proof !

Well, 2005 is under way and so far it has been uneventful around here. I am proud, however, that I was able to obtain several kisses at the stroke of midnight. Yay for me!

Speaking of sucking face, I thought that I'd re-cap some of the things that did indeed "suck" in 2004 and add to Robert Berry's list. Do you have anything else to add?

  • The Collaboration of Anne Geddes and Celine Dion - The world finally has the opportunity to enjoy creepy baby pictures and crappy music at the same time. Let's hope that Yanni and Thomas Kincade don't get any ideas from this!
  • Van Helsing - Did a 6th grade boy write this script? (sorry Lance.)
  • Your Mom - Just Kidding...
  • Flu Shots - Only in the US can we have a surplus of Viagra and not enough Flu Immunizations...Boners win again in the medical world!
  • Donald Trump and His Hair
  • Eminem - Can he write a song that doesn't sound like it was written by the best friend of the 7th grade Van Helsing script writer?
  • "Friends" Series Finale Hype - I was led to believe that Joey was going to finally pass his GED in this episode...tres disappointing!
  • Ron Artest - He should never go into coaching football if a little bit of liquid on the cranium makes him go that ballistic.
  • Holiday Spice Pepsi - Gag...let's hope that they learned a lesson and are putting a quick stop of the Gelfilte Fish flavored Passover Pepsi...
  • Yassir Arafat - I am also going to have a month long death watch. "Is she dead yet?"
  • Kirstie Alley - She is supposedly the most freakish person on the planet because she weighs just as much as Tom Arnold. Let's hope that Anna Nicole doesn't come down off of her drug high..I can hear it now, "Trim Spa, Kirstie!"
  • Trim Spa - I actually read in the small print that it's laced with crack and a side effect of taking the drug is "skeleton resemblence"...
  • The NHL Lockout - Could this mean that the end of the "Mighty Ducks" film saga could be near?
  • Jerry Springer - Trying to emmulate Oprah, he gave everyone in his audience permission to sleep with their cross-dressing, toothless, AquaNet lovin' siblings.
  • Howard Dean's Scream - At least the media is playing this clip more than Bush's speeches. Dean is definitely more amusing.
  • Boob Appearances in Public - I'd look down my shirt if I were really interested. I'm waiting for the public penis appearances, but of course there could never be a "wardrobe malfunction" while Donny Osmond is wearing a pair of pleather pants.
  • Jimmy Buffet - When did he go country? I'm waiting for the remake of "Fins" with Alan Jackson, Kenny Chesney, and Toby Keith.
  • Tupac New Releases - Where in the hell is all of the new material coming from? Could there be a new Tupac (who really spells his name "Two-Paac) that I don't know about? Maybe, gasp, he's not really gone...hmmm...
  • Small Dogs in Purses - What's next? Huskies in Suitcases? Where is PETA when you want them to be around?
  • I, Robot - Should have been called, "I, SUCK." (That was a little David Spade "Hollywood Minute" of me, wasn't it?) I suppose that it could also have been called, "Oh Hell Naw" since that was the only thing Will Smith seemed to recite in the film.
  • Courtney Love - Can she really be this pathetic? Letting someone suckle on her nipple on camera? Leaving lipstick all over her teeth? Flashing Letterman no less than 6 times in one interview? "Smells Like Crack Cocaine"
  • Ashlee Simpson - Daddy Simpson, here's some news...SHE CAN'T SING! Although she can do one hell of a "I'm screwed now so I'll just make myself look like an even bigger idiot" jig as demonstrated on SNL...
  • Starr Jones' Wedding - Let's see...product placement at the reception? Classy. 100 bridesmaids? Classy. Marrying a guy who admits to being gay? Classic!
  • Blockbuster Video - The good news? No more late fees. The bad news? The store is stocked with 5,000 copies of "A Troll in Central Park."
  • The Olsen Twins - You would think that I would be able to finally tell the difference between them since one is only 30 pounds, but no such luck.
  • Hummers - Why does a family of two need a vehicle that gets 8 miles to the gallon? I understand why rappers need them...how else are they going to tote their bling?
  • Michael Jackson Fans - I can't complaing because I really do like his music, but, really, is he giving away tickets to Neverland for people to show up at his court appearances to support him? He's guilty already people.
  • Celebrities Having Babies - It's really not a miracle, women have babies everyday. I'll bet if a celebrity ate a baby it wouldn't get much press at all.
  • Paris Hilton - She's not hot...however, if I were a guy I would kind of think her lazy eye would turn me on.
  • The Atkins Diet - Let Dr. Atkin's heart diseased death serve as a warning to you. Irony. Dr. Spock's son committed suicide...I'm serious!